A Brief Nonsensical History Of Music & Me

My father was a musician, skilled in playing the accordion and concertina, specializing in polka music. As a young child, I didn't fully grasp the depth of his talent, but I recognized it as something unique and worthy of pride. My mother, on the other hand, always stood by me and my musical aspirations. She enrolled me in lessons for various instruments, until I eventually developed a passion for the bass. Surprisingly, I hadn't even known bass was a distinct instrument; I had just spotted a vibrantly colored guitar in a store, and it immediately captured my fascination.In 1980, with my infatuation with all things mainstream rock 'n' roll, I walked into a record store one day and heard a distressing sound I'd never heard before. They called it "Punk Rock." It was everything wrong with music and society, and it needed to be stopped immediately... and I absolutely had to be a part of it!Many, many, many years later in 1985, I would yet again be thrown completely off course by the even more distressing sound of Einstürzende Neubauten. Fortunately, I found solace in the medication of all things 4AD - Cocteau Twins, This Mortal Coil, Wolfgang Press, and others. All these form the basis of where I remained. There are five records that, all these years later, stick in my head whenever I write and record: Tears For Fears - "The Hurting," Einstürzende Neubauten - "Halber Mensch," Aphrodite's Child - (that double album), This Mortal Coil - "Filigree And Shadow," and Ennio Morricone - well, all of his stuff.I gave up music for over twenty years due to reasons I won't go into now. However, I always felt like I was missing something so important in my life — it was as if every day I walked outside and forgot to put on my pants, everything just felt wrong.
After many years, I reconnected with an old girlfriend, someone who, in our youth, spent all our time encouraging each other in art and music. She was an artist who went on to be quite successful. When she found out that I hadn't played music in years, she was surprised, and the fact that it surprised her really surprised me, which was truly astonishing. This woke me up, almost as if I had just dreamed that I didn't play music anymore.
"What the hell am I doing?" was all I could think for months until I finally made the leap. I dusted off some of my old instruments, put together a ragtag home studio, and began writing and recording again. It felt like I had never stopped; it was the most natural feeling I had ever experienced... maybe like putting on my pants?                                                                                                                           Where do I go from here? I don't know, all I know is everything feels balanced in my head again...well maybe not everything, but the important things.